I have always enjoyed working with and preaching to teens. They are exciting, unpredictable, curious, energetic, needy, moody, loving, unloving, kind, mean, etc. When I finished Bible college, my first ministry was being a youth pastor for a good church. It was so rewarding and it gave me so many early gray hairs. It seemed at times that you were playing a chess match with these young people. You were constantly analyzing them and trying to stay one move ahead of the game. At times the ministry seemed to take two steps forward and three steps backward. Sometimes you could see great potential and sometimes you could see no light at the end of the tunnel.
I began to see that I was ministering to a broad spectrum of teens. I had preachers’ kids, deacons’ children, bus kids and kids from broken homes. I had mexican immigrants that had walked across the Rio Grand to escape Mexico. They lost one of their siblings as they were crossing the river. I had a young girl that had been raped by her own family members. I had kids that loved church and some that were made to come to church. I found out one thing in ministering to this diverse group of teens. In spite of some that clothed themselves in a rough exterior, down deep inside, they all wanted to be loved.
Over the years as a pastor, I have continued to have a heart to see God work among my teens. There may not be any other group in my church that I have put the time, money, and effort into seeing God transform lives. I know that some of the greatest times of spiritual growth for me was in my teen years. My youth pastors put great time and effort into seeing us daily grow in the Word. We had a lot of fun, but there was always a spiritual purpose in everything that we did.
As a pastor I have seen teens that I have loved and cared for break my heart. I have gone to the house of two dope-taking parents to tell them that there fifteen year old daughter was pregnant. I have gone with parents to visit their son in juvenile jail. I have listened as a teeange girl told my wife and me that she could not be saved. She showed us her wrist that were slit from trying to take her life. She proceeded to tell us how that her uncle, who was a preacher, had raped her dozens of times. I have conducted the funeral services of young people whose lives ended at an early age. I stood in dismay as I watched a teen boy punch his dad in the face and screamed “I hate you” over and over. I remember us talking to two beautiful teen girls. Both had so much going for them. They really began struggling spiritually, but both told us that everything was okay. “Don’t worry about me”, they said. We wept over them and prayed for them. One ran off and moved in with a boyfriend as a teen. The other is raising a baby as a teen.
While ministering in Europe, we hosted a Euro-wide youth conference every summer. It was amazing to see teens from a number of countries come to hear the preaching and fellowship with other teens. We watched some come back year after year. We saw some growing spiritually each time they came back. We saw some come back and they were still struggling greatly from the year before. We had the joy of seeing dozens saved and many called into the Lord’s service. These young people truly stirred my heart. As I look back on some of those young people, it is interesting to see where some of them are now. One young man met with us and told us the struggles he was having with his father. He told us that he was even struggling with the fact that he had the desire to live the life of a homosexual. I saw little hope for this young man. I’m thankful though that I can report that he got his heart right and has attended Bible college. You never know what is going on in the life of these precious teens. I received word one day that a good young man who had come to our youth conference had taken his own life. I began to realize something. I realized that often times, the ones that I thought would go on to do great things for God, ended up doing nothing and the ones that I thought had no chance, ended up doing good things for the Lord. I recognized that so many of them were privately struggling with things and they desperately needed some people to love them and point them towards the One that truly could help them.
Sometimes a youth pastor may look out at a handful of teens and wonder if it will ever be possible of having a good youth group. Their ministry seems to be so chaotic. They struggle just to get their teens to come to church. Every once in a while they will have a spark of hope that things are looking up. I know in the back of their mind, they look at other growing youth groups and say to themselves, “Will I ever be able to have a Christ-honoring youth group with the teens that God has given me?” We will sometimes look at ourselves and see someone who is not able to help change these lives. I say to you….don’t ever give up. You never know what potential is locked up inside of the hardest of teens. I’m thankful that God “looks upon the heart.” and I’m also thankful that little is much when God is in it. So, how do we pull this potential out of what seems to be a rubble of ashes? How can we take a group of teens from chaos to Christ-honoring. Let me give just a few things to consider.
1. Map out where you are going. I believe that many youth pastors fall short because they never really visualize where the Lord wants to take His young people. Not what He wants to see happen in their lives, but where he believes God is directing him to take his youth group. You only have these teens for a short period of time, but there should be a goal of what the greatest purpose of the youth ministry will be. We must remember that they will come from varied backgrounds. They will come in at varied levels of spiritual depth. I do believe that there are some places that you want to take each of your teens.
A. You want to encourage each to acquire a love for God and the Word of God.
B. You want to instill a respect for authority.
C. You want to nurture them to the place that they are willing to fully surrender their life to God.
These are some simple steps to take that can build each teen, no matter what spiritual level that they come from. Set some practical goals to take your teens to where they are growing in each of these three areas. If they make progress in these arenas then you most likely have their heart and they will be teachable.
2. Plan opportunities for your teens to serve. I have always said that “Serving teens are generally sensitive teens”. Any opportunity that you can take to let your teens serve others and even each other will help to keep their hearts’ soft. Sometimes one of the hardest thing to accomplish is to get your young people to the place that they are willing to serve each other. There are many opportunities for them to serve: Bus ministry, nursing home ministry, parents dinner, working around the church, soul-winning, helping widows and widowers, visit hurting teens. You should be weaving some of these into your goals to build your youth group.
3. Keep your teens around young people who are dedicated and surrendered. This is a wonderful way to wet their appetite for the things of God. You can take them to youth rallies, youth conferences, and youth camps. You can have teens that are being used of God to come and share their testimony with your youth. Bring in young people from different backgrounds. You need to bring in teens that have come from a difficult background and struggled with sin. You also need to let them see the lives of teens that have not given their life to the world and show them that it is better to give their life to God when they are young. Take your young people to visit Bible colleges. Not every teen is going to Bible college, but you can almost guarantee yourself that you will not have any teens go if you do not allow them to become acquainted with it.
4. Take the high road in every avenue of your youth ministry. So many youth pastors make a mistake in thinking that they have to blend in a little of the world to reach some teens. They often think that they have to be the “cool” buddy to the teens instead of a spiritual mentor. Many teens will have no spiritual influence outside of what they receive at church. Let them be able to have a feel of godliness when they are a part of the youth group. Make your music God-honoring. Make your standards glorifying to God. Make your speech God-honoring and not what they are used to hearing on the playground at the public school. That does not mean that everything that is done has to be spiritual and no fun, but weave spiritual teaching into every activity you have. Set the high road as your standard-bearer so that you can bring godliness out of them and not just the status quo. Decide whether you want to help build good teens or godly teens. There is certainly a different road that you have to take to go from chaos to Christ-honoring.
5. Take time to mentor teens who are growing and learn to love those who are not. Again, many youth pastors make the mistake of not seeing the potential in a young person that is learning and growing. Often times we consume our thoughts with those who seem to have no desire to grow that we cannot see the small seedling that is springing up in some young person that has an open heart. It is important to take time to encourage them and mentor them. Give testimony of their growth in class to encourage others. Certainly you are going to have to take time to love those that are hardened and not interested, but much more quality time should be spent growing those that are willing to grow. You will then find something happening. You will find that one person’s life will spark another, and those will spark others, and you will see before long that there is a glimmer of hope that things can go from chaos to Christ-honoring. Make all of your programs, classes and activities encouraging to your good teens and allow those that are not yet growing to see that teens can have fun doing godly things. It becomes contagious.
6. Teach your teens to reach other teens. This is very important in building a youth department. Teens need to see the blessings of it enough that they want to invite others. That is how you will grow your youth group. Your teens can get other teens in a lot easier than a youth pastor can. This is why part of your mentoring must be to teach them how to lead someone else to the Lord. If we have a teenager for four or five years and we have not taught them to read God’s Word, memorize God’s Word and share the gospel with someone else, we have failed them. There is not greater joy for a teen that is growing, than for them to be able to take the Bible and show another teen how they can be saved. This ought to be foundational teaching in our youth groups. Many would say, “Well, most of my teens would not care anything about that.” Just take the one or two that are interested and train them. Then testify as you see them make progress. Let your whole youth group know that God is pleased when teens are growing in their Christian life. It will make those that are on the sideline think and consider what it would be like to see God working in their own heart.
These are six simple steps that I believe can help any youth group go from a state of chaos to a life of being Christ-honoring. I hope this may encourage some pastors, youth pastors, and parents in the training of their teenagers.
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Truths for Today 